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I think everyone knows Desiderata, the poem that finds its way onto about 12% of bathrooms and downstairs toilets in the civilised world.

However, it struck me as odd that the psytrance scene, with its bent culture of remixing and thieving, didn't have its own Desiderata Hack for its own, nasty uses in its own, nasty bathrooms.

Therefore, it gives me great pleasure (but that's my business.)

Download the PDF if you want to print it out (and hey, if it does end up on your wall in your bathroom or wherever, we'd love to see the photo evidence; email This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it . Cheers!)

Go acidy amid the Doof and Parvati,
and remember what peace there may be in Ultimae.
As far as possible without surrender –- or any of the other Isratrance admins -
be on good terms with all zero day scene rippers.

Avoid loud and aggressive Israelis,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare The Lone Deranger with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than Posford.

Keep interested in your own DJ career, however humble;
it is a real possession but an utter waste of time.
Exercise caution in your mixing affairs;
for the world is full of Ableton.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high-profile gigs;
and everywhere nostrils are full of charlie.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection for progressive music.
Neither be cynical about Goa;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as my arse.

You are not a child of the universe,
far less than the trees and the stars;
you have no sodding right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the scene is dying as it should.

Therefore be at peace with Goa,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labours and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of Azax, keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken contracts,
it is still a beautiful scene.

Be beerful.
Strive to be shanti.

Trance Desiderata (pdf link)